Hope

There's a song by foy vance, called the two shades of hope....

It talks about how hope deals the hardest blows.

How you can put so much hope into something.....and then when it goes wrong, it can be soul destroying

I'm in that sort of situation.

Torn between having hope, and giving up on a dream.
If I have hope, real deep hope, then if it doesn't work out.... I'll be hurt. I will be sad to be honest.

So I keep trying to rule it out..... But because of the uncertainty.... I keep going back to it.... 'maybe...'.... Like a moth to a flame.... Am I destined to get myself hurt?

So often I am seen as being too negative, too cynical, too pessimistic...:
And right now....
Right now I need to be all of those things to protect my heart.

But I just can't.
I can't turn off the hope for this situation, the optimism.....
Even though that alone is causing me hurt already...,

Attitudes&emotions are a funny funny thing.....